Responding to Challenges

Each day, we have around 1,400 people arrive and spend their day here at Green Point Christian College. They navigate the campus, learn, play, and most importantly interact and communicate with each other. There are hundreds of thousands of individual interactions every day, with teachers, other staff, classmates and other students.

One picture that represents these interactions occurs each day on the small Primary oval, where there are often three games of soccer happening simultaneously. The balls move, students run, and they all manage to (mostly) avoid each other in what, at times, looks like an intricate piece of choreography. Watching these games, I am amazed at how few collisions occur, and they finish the game sweaty but full of joy, recalling their best passages of play as they head back to class.

As I think about all the interactions that occur on campus each day, I am similarly amazed. Here at Green Point, we experience very few negative interactions on any given day, as students generally work together in highly positive ways. There are many reasons for this: our excellent staff, a clear purpose, high expectations, a pro social approach, and explicit teaching of norms and expectations are just a few of those reasons.

However, the interactions are not perfect, and on occasion, negative interactions do take place. This is inevitable, and it is also a vital part of the learning process as students grow.

Our responses as parents in these situations are vital to successfully navigate these events and supporting your child to develop resilience and conflict resolution skills.

The first thing is to take care with what you take on board. A wise teacher and parent once shared with another parent. “If you believe 50% of what your child shares with you at home, I will believe 50% of what your child shares about you at school.” The heart of this statement is to remember that, because of a young person’s age and maturity, they see the world with a limited perspective. When a negative event occurs, this reality is exacerbated and the version you will hear (while being very true for them) will often differ from the real version of events. This is often because they are seeking connection and empathy from you as parent, and so they seek that from you. Providing your child empathy in the moment and helping them to feel seen, soothed, safe and secure will be what is best for them in a moment like this.

As a College, we have several staff trained to investigate challenging situations, and our teachers are very skilled at determining the truth from conflicting stories. As parents, we find these situations challenging and I encourage all of us, when these situations arise, to take a deep breath, trust, and continue to partner with your child’s teacher as they work through the process. It is often in these moments that we see the most learning and growth occur for our children, and often also for us.

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Joel van Bentum