A lot of media attention is being paid at the moment to the issue of consent, especially when it comes to sexual advances. In considering this serious issue we should consider consent in a broader sense because it relates to most relational interactions we have as people. Giving or withholding consent happens often for all of us and having a healthy view of that as both the requestor and the receiver is important.

The media have tended to focus in on the problem of sexual consent and it is a significant issue for many people. Surveys done involving school age children seem to indicate that often schools address this issue too little and too late. But sometimes a young person will not understand the potential relevance of an issue when it is raised with them and so not pay particular attention to it, only to realise much later that it would have been good to have been better prepared.

At GPCC we address this issue in a range of ways. It starts with helping Kindergarten children to learn to respect others and read simple social cues when things like a request to "play with me" are made.  As a school, we try to enforce the importance of showing respect to others at all times, even when you may disagree with them, not get along with them very well, or when they are being rude or difficult towards you.

Pressure to say "yes" to a request comes in many forms and helping children and young people to manage this tricky social issue is not easy. Here we can partner together as home and school. If you are also reinforcing at home what we are teaching at school, (and vice versa) they are more likely to get the message.

The danger with the current focus on consent is that it may come across as a very black and white issue – a "yes" or "no" response is all that is required. But often in giving or withholding consent, there are grey responses such as, “I do, but not now,” or “I would if …,” and so on. Or we may change our mind after giving consent and that also should be respected. For children and teenagers, learning how to live with the grey can be difficult and we need to help them through this potential minefield.

For older teenagers, consent in the area of sexual activity is a significant issue. The messages today are very confusing. Pornography is not condemned yet the message it gives teenagers is very contrary to the idea of respectful consent. Until our society is courageous enough to condemn the harmful pornography industry in the same manner it has condemned other harmful practices (like cigarette smoking and now vaping), we are making it difficult for our young people to learn how to show respect to each other and say and accept no as being okay.

This is an area where we can work together to guide the children in our care through a complex issue so that they know how to live Godly lives, extending love, care and respect to those around them.

Phillip Nash